Meltdown | How Does It Really Feel?

Have you ever felt so angry, so on the edge of control, so at the brink of sanity and rational thought, that it’s scared you? Have you ever been pushed so far, that when despite begging out loud for it to stop, it doesn’t and you explode? Have you ever lost it? Do you remember what that felt like? Red hot blood coursing through your veins that leaves you shaking in despair. The urge to destroy anything and everything that crosses your path. Did you shout and scream? Did you fall down and cry? Did you hide away and not want to come out? Did you throw things and break things and say things you didn’t mean?

How did you feel afterwards?

Sorry.

Lost.

Embarrassed.

Quiet.

Tired.

Reflective.

What was it that made you feel that way? What was it you found so overwhelming that you reacted in such a way?

Imagine if what made you feel that way was the screech of tyres, the hum of car engines or that high pitched beeping those padestrian crossings make as you walk to work.

Imagine if what made you feel that way was the concoction of smells coming from the kitchen as your mum lovingly prepares you a meal. Or the way your food comes out not being how you envisaged it would.

What if it was the sensation of water against your skin? What if it was an unexpected change in your day? What if it was being in a shopping centre with lights that crippled your eyes or the bustle of many many people that left you feeling like you were drowning.

What if you couldn’t comprehend tone of voice or distinguish facial expression? What if you couldn’t understand figure of speech or sarcasm?

What would it feel like to live in a world where everything that surrounded you, tipped you over the edge?

People with Autism have to live in a world which overwhelms them. They have to get by and keep up in a world where those that don’t have an understanding of Autism, far outnumbers those that do.

Parents of children with Autism have to preplan and second guess everything. We have to follow routine and feel the need to explain ourselves on a regular basis. We have to fight for support and are frequently judged by those around us. We have to be knocked back 8 times, knowing there is no other option but to stand up 9.

When you meet people who just ‘get it’ it’s transformational.

It’s life affirming.

Spectrum Sunday

Mummy Times Two

About the Author

Posted by

Mummy to three boys. On a special journey to an Autism Spectrum Disorder and Hypermobility diagnosis and beyond.

Categories:

Autism

7 Comments

I hate to tell you this but it might help, if I’m any example the melt downs themselves hurt. Residual pain, dizziness and confusion combine with humiliation etcetera and make it very difficult to move forward. I often find the lights are brighter, and sounds are louder both to the point of pain & making it difficult to see and hear. And yes I still have them at 45. Good luck!

Liked by 1 person

I have friends/relatives who are on the autistic spectrum and it sounds like meltdowns are absolutely awful from what they’ve told me. Thank you for this post, hopefully it’ll help to spread more awareness of what meltdowns are like. #PostsFromTheHeart

Liked by 1 person

A truly beautifully written post, I think Meltdowns are so hard for those outside of our world to understand, but you have explained it perfectly. This is a post that needs to be read by everyone but especially by teachers. I think all too often they misunderstand our children and what makes them feel so outwardly angry. Thank you so much for writing this and for linking it up to #PostsFromTheHeart

Liked by 1 person

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