Sonny,

I love you today because one, two, three, four, five years have passed since I gave birth to you. Five little but long years ago, I held you in my arms for the very first time. And since then I have continued to hold you, guide you and protect you from the world that surrounds you. The world that overwhelms you so.

I love you today because this day is special. It’s special for you because you’re another year older, another year stronger and wiser than the year just left behind. It’s special for me because this day is another reminder of how lucky I am to have you. It’s a day to cherish you that little bit more and a chance for me to show you just how much you mean to me.

I love you today because you are looking ever so grown. We tend to get through the year not noticing too obviously how many centimetres taller you are now or how many grams you are heavier, but today… today it screams at me all the more just how quickly time goes by. Your face more mature, skin still baby soft, fingers that little bit longer but the tone in your voice still speaks the same innocence.

I love you today because when you’re being your most unloveable, it’s actually easier for me to love you harder, more unconditionally, more infinitely than ever before. Those days that leave me feeling like I’m no good and that if I could I’d throw the towel in, they are painful. I keep going for you. I tuck you in bed just as I do each and every night and cuddle you, lay with you longer and tighter.

I love you today because I know in my deepest of hearts that I am the mother for you and there is no one else that could possibly take my place. You have taught me so much and although to you I’m grown, there is always more room to grow. Every day is a challenge, but your fight is my fight and I fight for you. I fight hard with every last ounce of energy in my body.

I love you today because today is a day for celebration. It’s a day to look back over our shoulder, see where it was we started and say wow… just look at us now. As I put you to bed on your last day of being 4, I reminisced. Those first uncoordinated smiles. The way you army crawled clumsily across the living room floor. The wispyness of your hair so fine, sparce and blonde. We’ve come so far Sonny. We’ve been through so much together. Nobody sees me the way you do, as though I am amazing and nothing less than. Nobody knows you like I do. I’d do anything for you.

You’re not always looking but I know your watching.

You’re not always quiet but I know you are taking everything in.

You don’t have to speak the right words but I hear them.

And these words are mine today.

I love you today because you’re you and I’m proud.

Happy Birthday Sonny.

My love.

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