Sonny’s First School Trip

My Sonny Shine,

You’re going on your first ever school trip today. You’re off to visit a farm with your 1:1 for the day Mrs H and all your friends at school. You’ve been excited about it for weeks now, asking me every morning if it’s Wednesday yet… if it’s ‘the’ Wednesday yet. You’ve been reciting the days of the week using your fingers in an attempt to work out how many more days you have left to wait.

The time has finally come, it’s here and you’re off on a coach with the whole of Reception. Are you feeling nervous Sonny?

I am.

In many ways, not a lot has changed since you were a new-born. A teeny tiny thing (still true) with dinky little feet, still very much dependant on me. (Half true, you’re incredibly stubborn)

Your hair is still fine and as golden as the sun, just you’ve more of it now than you did back then.

The list of people I trust to look after you is still as short as it was in those early days. I would need to feel comfortable that they fully understood your needs in order to leave you in their care. I knew you better than anyone else.

I still do Sonny.

I still feel the need to run through in military fashion a list of potential scenarios and what to do in each case. I suppose it was the same when Nanny used to look after you when you was small. I used to run through a whole list of things to remember while Nanny stood there, arms folded and eyebrow raised as if to remind me she did a good job at raising 6 of her own.

You might be taller these days and a little lighter on your feet but the mama bear in me still feels the need to protect you. I’ve just learnt to rein it in.

The first opportunity you had to experience your first school trip was last November. The whole school were going to the Pantomime and I knew in my heart that wasn’t the trip for you. It was too much too soon. I felt terribly guilty making that decision for you, although you didn’t really seem to understand what was going on. We ended up having a brilliant time together at Luton Airport Fire Station instead.

You’ve come a long way since then Sonny.

You’re ready for a trip like this. It seems to be the right one that’s come at the right time for you. It’s outdoorsy and it’s all about animals. Two of your most favourite things.

I hugged and kissed and waved goodbye to a very excited little boy this morning.

My mind pictured a little boy lost in a crowd of 60+ children, holding on to his teacher as he boarded the coach with his packed lunch in hand.

My heart pictured that dainty blonde curly haired baby of mine saying his first words and taking his first wobbly steps.

I know there’ll come a time when you feel ready enough, strong enough and brave enough to let go of my hand. There’ll be a time when you wont need me half as much as you do now and when that time comes, I know you’ll be alright.

I’m just not quite prepared for that yet.


Have an amazing time at the farm today.

I cant wait for you to come home and tell us all about it.


About the Author

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Mum of three young boys. Sharing our family journey to an Autism and ADHD diagnosis.


Autism, Milestones

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