Behind The Smiles of Our Autism Family

I’m not a lover of small talk, the ‘are you okay’s’ and the ‘how’ve you been-s.’ It’s kind and polite but I’d much rather a more deep and meaningful conversation. When I first noticed her it started off with half a smile upon our passing. Then it became a quiet ‘hi’ and a smile which soon progressed to a smile and a ‘hello.’ A lady passes us most mornings on route to school, happy, smiling and completely free of judgement at the sight of me, sometimes stressed and often in a hurry, a young girl with three young boys in toe. A few weeks passed quite standardly, weeks of smiles, hello’s and blasé comments about the weather, be it pouring with rain or warm beaming sunshine there was always something to say. I wasn’t a lover of small talk until one day this lady said something to me that took me by surprise.

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The Village That Raises My Children

We have Grandmothers, Mothers and Aunts. Grandfathers, Fathers, Uncles and even older siblings that share some of the parenting, each with their own important role. Beyond our circle of friends and our family unit, we have teachers.

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It’s Not The Day For A School Play

Reception performed their school play this morning to their parents and the rest of the school. Except this time, Sonny wasn’t going to be there. We went to school this morning and walked past the long queue of parents, eagerly waiting to get inside and for the play to begin. Me… I walked home feeling just a little disheartened.

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I Love You Today Because…

Sonny,

I love you today because one, two, three, four, five years have passed since I gave birth to you. Five little but long years ago, I held you in my arms for the very first time. And since then I have continued to hold you, guide you and protect you from the world that surrounds you. The world that overwhelms you so.

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Cold Coffee & A High Five | A Guide To Surviving School Mornings

To the mum that high fived me for getting through another morning school run, I salute you! I see you fellow mamma, looking occasionally rushed and flustered on route to the classroom door. We get one other. We don’t pretend this whole mothering thing is easy. It’s certainly not.

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Waving The White Flag of Parenting

It’s merely the middle of the week and I am already waving the white flag of parenting. By definition, waving a white flag is a recognised symbol to signal a ceasefire. It is also used to signify surrender, since it is often the weaker party which requests negotiation. A wave of chaos has entered our house, which is typical after a busy or exciting weekend but it’s caught up with me already.

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Don’t Tell Me He’ll Eat When He’s Hungry

At the age of 3, Sonny weighed a total of one and a half stone. Yes. You read that right. To compare, his healthy baby brother only 1 year old, already weighed a stone. This picture below hurts my eyes and my heart. He was nothing but skin on bone and you could see his skeleton through his pale skin. His face bony, his eyes sunken and gaunt. When he was sat down you could make out every outline that formed his pelvis and his spine. His age 18 to 24 month clothes hung from his body, never fitting him right. I felt consumed with guilt each time I saw his fragile body without clothes as though it was somehow my fault.

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Hurry Up, Slow Down

There are so many times in which I find myself in a constant flurry. These last few weeks, it’s been all day most days. In this I know I’m not alone. So many things to do, so many places to be, so many people needing your attention and sometimes – sometimes there are just not enough hours in the day.

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Raising Boys | I Don’t Know How You Do It!

There is one question I get asked most days and if only I got a pound each time, I’d be filthy rich. Three boys? And you’re how old? How on earth do you do it?! You must be busy. You must have your hands full. How do I do it? I don’t really know in all honesty. I don’t know any other way.

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