Not too long after that incident, I sat with the Head Teacher, SENCO and Class Teacher for a good length of time. We discussed his behaviour plan in great depth, what was working well and what wasn’t working so well. We hashed over what we could do to make things better and the outcome was pretty good.
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To the mum that high fived me for getting through another morning school run, I salute you! I see you fellow mamma, looking occasionally rushed and flustered on route to the classroom door. We get one other. We don’t pretend this whole mothering thing is easy. It’s certainly not.
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Instead he became fond of the softness of the skin on your head as he kissed you. Fond of your little fingers, how they were just like his only very small, and how adorably cute you looked when you smiled at him for the very first time.
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Every small step for us is an important one. It doesn’t matter if the day doesn’t go to plan, if it isn’t perfect or doesn’t mirror the way everybody else is spending theirs.
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Knowing all I know now, I wondered how on earth we ever reached the end of that pier in the first place. I don’t remember too much about the walk back to our spot on the beach but it must have been calm. Quiet and reflective. My little boy was different. I knew it then. I just needed to know why. I needed to know how I could help him.
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What do you do when your noise sensitive child is simultaneously the noisiest person you know? That’s not a question I have the answer to, other than just let them do their thing. Some days Sonny cannot bear the noise of the television, the loud buzz of a hedge cutter or his brother humming a song. Zachary, only 2 years of age, is fully aware of Sonny’s noise sensitivity and will scream as loud as possible to see his reaction, much to our delight.
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I did it again Sonny. I underestimated you. It seems to be somewhat of a habit of mine. Does your Autism make me more protective of you compared to your brothers? It’s almost as though my innate motherly instinct takes control and does all it can to protect you from disappointment or harm. I allow Riley and Zachary to go that little bit further, I allow them to make mistakes, I give them room to stretch their wings and fly.
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Looks from fellow coffee drinkers around us only added to the pressure. I’m certain Zachary knew this and upped his game. He knew I was trying to keep him hush and he wasn’t having any of it.
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Your calmer when your home. It’s what I love the most about weekends. No post school meltdowns. Not quite so tired and agitated. A pleasure to be around.
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